Happy.Not.

I never thought Merdeka celebration at 6th college would be so much fun. Various performances by those fabulous performers definitely impressive. And we sang a few songs, I am sure not everyone is patriotic, but the entire atmosphere was too much lively, till we couldn't help but sang along when the songs were played. The best thing was, joking and playing around with those superb friends was incredibly fun. I was too dumb for not hanging out with them at night market before the celebration started, instead, I chose to dine out.

Honestly, I was very upset after dining out. Back to my room, opened up my Immunology notes, 15 minutes passed, I was still reading the same slide. Switching on laptop, some errors occured to that super-duper stupid UM portal login and I failed to get any network access. Fed up, depression was growing wilder, I eventually called my mum up, and spilled everything out to her. Unbelievably, I told her my personal things. First time ever. I told her what do I feel, how everything differs from now and then. Tears welled up and flowed down my cheek, profusely. How I wish I am now at home, sitting on the same couch with mommy and watching Korean drama on tv.


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I am afraid of what will come next, especially things which are much to my dislike and disapprove. As time goes by, I realised there are too many incompatibilities exist between us. We always come up with different opinion. Everytime I voice out of what I think, you would surely correct my thinking, and elaborate of what you do actually think. Sometimes you do not comprehend of what do I feel, the pressure I am handling. I hate the atmosphere when we do actually just sit, and you keep pressing your phone and I stare around the cafe as if I have nothing better to do, and no words come out from our mouths. It is toooo awkward. To make the condition better, I tried my best to figure out of any question just want to draw you away from the screen. And what did I actually get was merely dull response. What's the point of asking me out when your whole concentration is on the phone? Sometimes I have a whole lot of things in my mind and I eagerly want to say it out to you, but the tiredness shown on your face told me "No, dont tell me."
I told my friend, we have too many uncommon thoughts and likes. But she told me, that's a bonus where we both can share our preferences and I may grow an interest in what he likes, and vice versa. But now, I don't know whether it is a privilege.

There are only two times I want to be with you,

Now and Forever.

Yes, forever, and I mean it. Will try to mend those unhappy things.