Happy.Not.

I never thought Merdeka celebration at 6th college would be so much fun. Various performances by those fabulous performers definitely impressive. And we sang a few songs, I am sure not everyone is patriotic, but the entire atmosphere was too much lively, till we couldn't help but sang along when the songs were played. The best thing was, joking and playing around with those superb friends was incredibly fun. I was too dumb for not hanging out with them at night market before the celebration started, instead, I chose to dine out.

Honestly, I was very upset after dining out. Back to my room, opened up my Immunology notes, 15 minutes passed, I was still reading the same slide. Switching on laptop, some errors occured to that super-duper stupid UM portal login and I failed to get any network access. Fed up, depression was growing wilder, I eventually called my mum up, and spilled everything out to her. Unbelievably, I told her my personal things. First time ever. I told her what do I feel, how everything differs from now and then. Tears welled up and flowed down my cheek, profusely. How I wish I am now at home, sitting on the same couch with mommy and watching Korean drama on tv.


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I am afraid of what will come next, especially things which are much to my dislike and disapprove. As time goes by, I realised there are too many incompatibilities exist between us. We always come up with different opinion. Everytime I voice out of what I think, you would surely correct my thinking, and elaborate of what you do actually think. Sometimes you do not comprehend of what do I feel, the pressure I am handling. I hate the atmosphere when we do actually just sit, and you keep pressing your phone and I stare around the cafe as if I have nothing better to do, and no words come out from our mouths. It is toooo awkward. To make the condition better, I tried my best to figure out of any question just want to draw you away from the screen. And what did I actually get was merely dull response. What's the point of asking me out when your whole concentration is on the phone? Sometimes I have a whole lot of things in my mind and I eagerly want to say it out to you, but the tiredness shown on your face told me "No, dont tell me."
I told my friend, we have too many uncommon thoughts and likes. But she told me, that's a bonus where we both can share our preferences and I may grow an interest in what he likes, and vice versa. But now, I don't know whether it is a privilege.

There are only two times I want to be with you,

Now and Forever.

Yes, forever, and I mean it. Will try to mend those unhappy things.

Let's get it started

I should start doing this. Not joking.

Frighten me, psycho me...

Please.....

Today is not my day

Was a volunteer in an activity organised by Buddhist Association of UM. A vegetarian foodstall was set up and I was appointed to be a waitress. You would not believe how crowded it was. Throngs were everywhere. Some were waiting to be served, while some were waiting patiently to be seated. First time ever in my two-decade life (almost lah), I was serving the customers, with no smile. hehe. Blame on the hot scorching sun, and PMS.

After MMB lab practical ( with the doctor who was unbelievably scary), went Mid Valley with my ex-roommies. Sales are everywhere! However, the shopping spree was not a real fun, since I failed to get myself any clothes, shoes, accesorries......Back to my room, slept flat on bed with my stinky clothes. Then, dragged my body to washroom. I felt as if I was just returned from climbing the Mt. Everest. My legs......

Due to some misunderstanding and misinterpretation between my Buddy and I, supposedly I should be hanging out with my Buddyline. I ended up shopping with my ex-roommie. Honestly, I was quite upset as the complete buddyline was there, and I was the only odd one out. Frankly, I did not blame it on anyone, it was simply my misfortune.

Somebody is LOST. Still haven't replied my message eyyyy..You are getting on my NERVES!

I am not influential, I am not amicable,  I am INVISIBLE.

August

 I really want to blurt it out to someone. When I can't stand it any longer.